The journey

Posted: February 25, 2014 in health
Tags: , , , , , ,

Time is a great healer
It’s been said, written and sung about many times. The problem is you never realise you’re healing because the process is slow and gradual over time.

I’ve noticed over the last few days that my mood has lifted slightly, and I have got more energy than I’ve had in the last few weeks. I’ve been able to concentrate a little better, and I’m even managing to focus on reading and watching TV (simple things, but the place my head was in I was unable to concentrate on either thing).

Status quo
Something that I’m struggling with at the moment is the rut that my mind seems to have gotten into. I feel a lot more steady in myself, but I also have an overarching fear that if something were to change from the status quo then I would spiral into a desperate state again.

It is clear to me that I need to keep being active, and do the things that I want to avoid. I know I will never achieve anything if I let my negative thoughts talk me out of doing ‘normal’ things. If it were someone else then I could quite easily give advice on what to do and how to tackle things; it just seems so much more of a challenge to take my own advice, and get out there and get on with this journey we call life.

What helps?
Some of the things that make me feel better are exercise, my kids (and my good lady), and talking about it. Talking about it in person is the hardest, yet probably the best; I’ve spoken with a counsellor and have had some good advice on things like CBT and meditation. Writing about my mood on here is quite therapeutic and a good way to make sense of things. I also attended a group called LIFT, which provides some helpful techniques in dealing with stress and anxiety.

What next…
I guess I’m doing all the things I could/should be doing at the moment. Trying to keep up with with the exercising is a must, along with attending any sessions I have lined up. I’m also thinking about speaking to my employers to discuss any back to work arrangements (I’ve been off for over a month now). This is the big challenge for me at the moment, looking at ways I will cope with going back to work. I know I can do it, I just need to shut off that ‘chatterbox’ in my mind that keeps trying to drag me back down and keep me frozen with fear and panic.

Onwards and upwards

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